Tourism SWAT Teams - World First
Apparently anticipating in-house problems, Bray brothers Katiet Villas today announced a radical new approach to guest security. Their Indonesian company PT OMI have engaged bodyguard & protection specialists, Dynamiq Pty Ltd of Crows Nest, Sydney to handle interaction with local communities. Dynamiq specialize in Hostile Environment Training (HET) and Corporate Protection Teams (CPTs) using retired Army Special Forces (SAS) mercenaries.
Adam Bray again faced the media to announce this 'World First' tourism initiative. "Nobody ever thought of this before" said a flushed an apparently pumped up Bray. "I took the HET course after the locals tried to take me out in Teluk Nibung over some kind of pathetic misunderstanding. It made me start thinking and later I linked up with Anthony in the gym"
Anthony (FNW - family name withheld), head trainer at Dynamiq, joined Bray to face the press. "Adam is a challenged student but our trainers are the best and we are very pleased with his progress". A PPP (power point presentation) narrated by Anthony (FNW) showed images of Adam at HET quarters learning to identify friend and foe cardboard cutouts before injecting their eyeballs with battery acid. "He is starting to score better than 50/50 now and we have only been training for 3 weeks"
Bray went on to explain how a 5 man SWAT Team would be choppered in to Katiet fully armed should there be any suspicion of conflict with local tribesmen. "I took photos of some Mentawai people and we have used them to make cardboard cutouts to help in my training" Bray said showing a close up of an old man being terminated by lethal injection. "We want the SAS blokes to be able to tell the difference between the Brazilian guests and the local tribes. We dont have to deal with messy FF (Friendly Fire) incidents like what happened at Hitlantis Resort a few years ago".
"We lost all our investment in that island resort after the locals unleashed swarms of sand flies. We soaked everything in pesticide and were lucky to escape alive when the wood fire ignited the fumes and burned down the hut with our friends dog inside. I hated that dog so it was a kinda 'friendly fire' I'd say" chuckled Bray.
Asked about the cost of the SWAT team Bray became defensive. "That is a need-to-know issue and you will first have to prove to me that you need-to-know"
An un-named Dynamiq SWAT team member displays his personalnegotiation kit for use against tribal insurgents. Face withheld.
He claimed that the name was deliberately misleading to confuse the TIs
Anthony FNW was more forthcoming. "Well I need to know right now. No more pussyfooting around this Adam. We'll take a flat 33% off the top for our services. Normally we only ask 25% but because all the guests at Katiet Villas are BNs (Brazilian Nuts) we have negotiated a higher rate. It is hard to tell BNs apart from the TIs (Tribal Insurgents) and LS (Local Staff) so we have to do a lot of ET (Extra Training) with the CCs (Cardboard Cutouts). And those BAR rooms are very pokey and dark. In the end there are very good reasons why it costs a bit more to stay at Katiet Villas than other LSLs (Less Secure Locations)"
Bray then handed out brochures that will be mailed to guests before they fly direct from Singapore to the Katiet beach drop zone. "Its all explained in here..... we want the guests to all wait in their rooms till the SWAT blokes have cleared the beach... if we have to use stun grenades there is no need to worry. Our in-house ex-SAS surgeon had loads of experience with internal bleeding in Cambodia" .... "In the fine print you can see we offer all our guests the Dynamiq HET training course at a discount so it is a real win win for everyone"
The Brays have placed an order for this $570,000 SWAT support vehiclefrom the US. "I had to hide in a cabin to save my life in Teluk Nibung andI dont want to go through that again. This is my personal vehicle and I'mgoing to live in it" Bray said to reporters.
He denied rumors that it would be used to manage Brazilian surfers,
claiming that the paint job was just a joke.
NotSeenNotHeard has been awarded the coveted Webby People's Choice award in the 10th Annual Webby contest. This year the Webby's attracted a record number of applicants and Zach and Chris's beautiful work dominated the highly competitive 'Student' category.
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